the question: all the kiddies keep pressing...
the question: all the kiddies keep pressing...
how a bxtch so mean but she still be a blessing?
I work well but don’t play nice. I’m not always great for morale but I am highly executive. I’m always impressed by who I make feel small. I don’t intentionally speak down to anyone. So when my sentiments present that trajectory I have to check my eyes. What are you doing down there? I’m tired of distrusting locals but I’m ever grateful for my family It’s not all bad which makes these slights hurt worse. I can trace this failure as my own because blaming others doesn’t help me sleep at night.
My love & I passed a threshold. We’ve been bubbling around a delicate place. I attempted to free fall to a different self & I landed holding his hand. I hate the language of testing a relationship but durability is a metric that secures me. His tongue sings melodies I taught him. I return to him the generosity of patience. We watch cartoons together miles apart & laugh at all hours of the day.
I’m not holding anything over anyone anymore. Just trying to take on less in general. If anything 2020 taught me it’s to only check for folks checking for me. I’m not disposable. My temperament is not without context. I’m explicit in the best ways & resent the demand for “warning”. I’m ridiculed for my smallest feelings & framed monstrous casually. It’s a recurring role. I’m not trying ut for that ensemble. I’ll cast myself further out.
I’ve given up on certain forevers. I think I’ve ruined my reputation enough. I can pray for a semblance of cult consideration. I want the people who needed me to live less encumbered. The cost of repression & expression is the same. I’ve lost as much (if not more) by saying yes as I have by saying no. I’m categorically a difficult person to work with. I’m historically the tit these mfkrs feed on. I’m as unsustainable as ever. Look around though, no future just vibes.